It hit me and it hit me hard today.
Looking back at my last photo shoot with my darling siblings
brought tears to my eyes knowing that
I wouldn't actually lay eyes on them for a long while.
It hurts a little bit.
I miss their voices.
I miss their laughs.
I miss their undying love.
I miss holding them.
(Even though they are getting a little bit too big for my lap.)
I miss them.
I miss my Annalou.
I miss my Dannydo.

Being a big sister to the two most incredible little siblings has been such a blessing to me.
I remember when my mom was pregnant with this beautiful girl,
I was wishing in my head that she would have another boy
because I was worried that if it was a girl, she would
take my place in my mom's life.
I look back and laugh at that thought because I wouldn't trade sharing my life,
my mother, and my love with AnnaLynn.

Seriously, looking at this picture is making me cry. I miss her so much.
You don't realize how much someone really impacts your life until they aren't there anymore.
AnnaLynn was my shadow ever since she was a baby, and I love her for it!
Our relationship will be the most amazing thing because of all the time we have spent together.
We even slept in the same bed for a couple of years, so you can't get any closer than that!
Moving was hard for me when it came to Daniel and Anna.
I knew that I wasn't going to be able to be a part of their lives like I had, and cried at the thought
that when I got back, that they'd be different. They'd be growing up. They'd have little quirks that I wouldn't know about.
And I wanted to always be a part of that!
I didn't want anybody to know them as well as I did. (except of course for mom and dad)

And this fellow, how could you live without him? He has always been my little bud!
He has a laugh that is just irresistible! I couldn't help but make him laugh until he was blue in the face! I love how informative he is! He's always telling me something new from what he's read, or seen, or heard. He is the most tender and incredible younger brother! He's growing up so fast and I don't know what to make of it! By the time we get back, he'll be taller than me and have a deep voice! :P
Daniel was the best baby when he was born. Chubby, full of smiles, and his little stutter would melt anybody's heart! I was so proud of him and still am! I wouldn't trade this little mister for anything!

Plus, who will keep me entertained like he could??? He was always doing silly things (for better or for worse) but he kept me laughing! I love him so much!
I told him and AnnaLynn they aren't allowed to grow or change until I get back to be a part of it!

But seriously, I miss them.
I know in time it will get better and I'll still miss them, but I'll be okay. I'm okay now too, but at times it will just hit me. I have been so blessed by these two and thank God for letting me play such a big role in their life. There was a reason that through all that as a family we've been through that I stuck around! And these guys are just one big part.
I love you Danny and Anna.
I can't wait to see you at Christmas time.
I miss you like crazy!
(okay I'll stop crying now)